Throughout my time in high school is when I wore my deepest mask. I realized that it was a mask now from learning the meaning in my communications class. A mask is “public self-designed to strategically veil your private self,” (McCornack, p. 50). I was not happy, and I hated school. I was the new girl at school and knew absolutely no one and I believe that is when I began to wear my mask. To everyone else I appeared to be happy but also very shy. In class I would be anxious because I did not know anyone, and I was afraid that no one would talk to me or like me. Little did I know, by my senior year I would have the greatest group of friends. My freshman to junior year, I was just depressed. The biggest part of my mask would be if you had looked at my social media. Viewing my site, it looked like high school was the greatest time of my life but inside it was not. I suppose that was the face I let the world online look like. A “face” meaning “the self we allow others to see and know; the aspects of ourselves we choose to present publicly,” (McCornack, p. 50). However, by the middle of freshman year, I couldn’t bare who I was behind the mask. I went to the doctors to see if they could help but all they did was prescribe me medication. Then I became dependent on the medication as a safety blanket but felt it was doing nothing for me. That’s when I looked into therapy and started going to it. There I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
I wasn’t too keen into telling some stranger my life story, but by the third time meeting with my therapist, I learned to open up and it was okay. She gave me different tools to use in my everyday life, so I wasn’t just walking around as a ball of stress and anxiousness. It was after a few months there that I began to be myself again, the me before my mask. However, it was always peachy keen, I had some ups and downs with my time in therapy. I can finally say that I no longer wear that mask as much anymore. I wear it sometimes when I begin a new class or have, I have to present, but after another class period or two I will be fine. I would encourage anyone and everyone to go to therapy. Therapy is a place to go to talk to someone without judgement and a safe place of peace.
Anderson, M. (2007, December 06). Emotion Masks[Photograph].McCornack, S. (n.d.).
Reflect & Relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Retrieved June 2, 2019, from https://shelf.brytewave.com/#/books/9781319116910/cfi/6/2!/4/2/2/2@0:0.00
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